Sunday, October 17, 2010

Relentless





"So what do you love about your life?" Coffee and a date. A big red couch and cinnamon roll.

"You and the kids," he turns. Blue eyes capture me. "I'd do anything for you guys."


Later, 11:00 pm and we argue the night out long. I cross my arms, mascara smears down my cheeks.

"Bethany," he says, "Kyle cheated me at cards FOR YEARS since he was five years older, and I owed him all those wishes," Craig raises his eyebrows, "I still didn't give up." He stares at me, "I still kept trying to WIN. I don't give up," he makes his eyes round, "Even if I have to be just be your servant, I'll never stop trying to love you."

Never stop trying to love you. Never give up.

We dig in our heels and make the frayed ends of days turn into love.




Gratitude:

255. Husband, stubborn as the day is long.

256. Black grapes.

257. Husband's words to me, I'd rather have a messy house and have you care about people.

258. Janie's obedience, I don't want to, but I'll obey you, Momma.

259. Fellowship with Cerissa on Sundays. And how she teaches her sons they are protectors.

260. A new baby in the family due for Thanksgiving.

261. Her eager parents.

262. Littlest brother grown man who hunts puzzles for us in his spare time, you know, gives us all his doubles while he races to collect more than us.

263. Sleep. The putting down of the important to sleep. Rest. And prayer that God will grow our small offerings into great miracles.

264. Another puzzle spilled out on the coffee table, the edge pieces separated out. And, how the pieces snap together snug.

265. Loyalty. Husband's family that will love you forever. Period.

266. And my parents who will love us forever. Forever.

267. How they both find ways to like us too. Little kindnesses.

268. Husband's shoes unlaced and in the middle of the floor, him home.

269. A camera for Janie to practice pictures on.

270. Vines of cherry tomatoes picked just before frost.

271. Cold mornings, sunny days.





holy     experience

9 comments:

Heather said...

I love your honesty. Makes me feel a little more "normal". Love your list too.
Have a great week.
Love, Heather

Goat said...

Never give up. It's a lost art.

Melissa Campbell said...

Perseverance is holy. Thanks for sharing your story--it touches my heart, and makes me remember: this life is God's work--He is the artist, and we are the medium. Sometimes, He paints over us and the words and actions we regret are no more. Blessings!

emily wierenga said...

do you know? how this spoke to me, and rendered me helpless? xo

keLi said...

oh, friend. this was our story -- the crossed arms, the heels dug in.

then: sunday sermon. and my selfishness was on display.

thanks for this picture: how the marriage path is lit by sparks of iron against iron.

Audra said...

#257...I hear it as well, and find it so hard to do at times

Nona Yerbiznus said...

You're amazing. Love how transparent you are! And to #257-- AMEN! My Mother-in-law always tells me, "Life's too short to worry about your house-- focus on your family instead." But I think hubby wishes I'd stop taking his mother's advice.... Especially since she didn't say "Life's too short to worry about your house-- focus on your computer instead." Haha! Hmmmm-- which reminds me...time to log off and get some cleaning done! :)

emily wierenga said...

i love that you love pilgrim at tinker creek. now i really want to meet you. :)

Lori said...

Love this! Love you!